Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
