I wannas sexs uuuuu
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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