Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.