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okay pat passed out under dana's car
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
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