Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?

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  (203): tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please? http://tfl.nu/hm0j
  Replies (8) Good night (2025) Bad night (527)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.

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  (330): I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included. http://tfl.nu/hd7g
  Replies (32) Good night (6472) Bad night (801)
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  (909): View more from California

  Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.

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  (909): Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle. http://tfl.nu/fgdn
  Replies (16) Good night (4482) Bad night (789)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.

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  (402): I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of. http://tfl.nu/pxlj
  Replies (3) Good night (897) Bad night (2402)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.

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  (204): You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head. http://tfl.nu/a92s
  Replies (25) Good night (4684) Bad night (1079)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.

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  (316): I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock. http://tfl.nu/nmgr
  Replies (16) Good night (3765) Bad night (721)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.

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  (402): Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag. http://tfl.nu/nvod
  Replies (2) Good night (543) Bad night (695)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine

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  (917): I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine http://tfl.nu/wwy9
  Replies (13) Good night (595) Bad night (1764)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?

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  (254): when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger? http://tfl.nu/g708
  Replies (13) Good night (1167) Bad night (519)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.

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  (267): No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool. http://tfl.nu/pfhs
  Replies (20) Good night (734) Bad night (1988)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.

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  (307): While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career. http://tfl.nu/fdba
  Replies (4) Good night (539) Bad night (243)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice

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  (843): You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice http://tfl.nu/t6a0
  Replies (7) Good night (344) Bad night (553)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.

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  (509): Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse. http://tfl.nu/4hg3
  Replies (0) Good night (402) Bad night (231)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  it was a sexy soul patch.

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  (336): You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH. (724): it was a sexy soul patch. http://tfl.nu/u7f5
  Replies (2) Good night (352) Bad night (513)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.

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  (561): Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later. http://tfl.nu/vwre
  Replies (1) Good night (670) Bad night (199)

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