It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
His hands were made for my vagina.
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I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
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I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness