I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize