I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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