wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
