Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
