When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
