How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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