so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
