So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
