He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
