I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
