just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
