I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
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I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
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I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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