Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
