What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
