he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
