I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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