I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Panties = found
Randomize
