can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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