Your tits are I can't wait for
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
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