I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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