you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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