This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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