Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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