Pants 0. Shit 1.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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