**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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