Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
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I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
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just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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