I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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