Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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