smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize