You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
