suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
