i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
