I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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