I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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