He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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