im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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