who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
