Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He shit in the fireplace
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
