did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
