why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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