I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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