He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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