This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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