By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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