all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
40s are totally the cure
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Randomize
