Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
