i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
