Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
