Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
