We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
