I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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