I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
