I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
My dad is sitting where you rode me
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
