come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
