I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
