i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Sorry about my life...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
