Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
