What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
time to smoke my breakfast
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
