Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
This is the high leading the old right now
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
