a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
