Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
