It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
