You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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