the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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