I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
A bitchslap is in order.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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